SOLITARY ODDITY
God said it is not good
for man to be alone.(Genesis 2:18)
Man’s nature is built on
relationships. I haven’t realized the odd
isolation I have been used to and the solitary oddity of my life until I
married a woman, with three sisters and a brother all very close to one other,
that when they come together, laughter and loud conversation would disturb the
air, not to mention the noisy children playing in the background.
I was born an only child
with a father who seldom spoke unless he had something better to say and a
mother who acted more like a teacher than a mother. As a growing child, I lived
in a quiet environment. I have no
siblings to play with, so I played alone talking to myself. I grew up extremely shy and introverted, that attending social gatherings
like children’s parties was a torture. I would prefer to be left alone, in my own solitary world. I had a hard time
adjusting in school, dreading the teachers and the other school children. Establishing congenial social relationships
and relating to people are my vulnerable points of personal weakness.
The
enormous side effects of this maladaptive disposition are the inner craving for
approval and acceptance, longing to
belong, and deep need to be loved.
God’s design is for human
companionship, which is lateral, and
fellowship with God which is vertical. The stoical figure of a lonesome man facing the battles of life alone might be
poetic, but hardly ideal.
The full purpose of
creation is relational.
It is I believe by divine appointment that God
plucked me out of my avoidant existence and planted me to relate to three amiable and
effusive sisters in law, friendly sociable and caring by nature and the joy of having a loving
family of my own that I felt the acceptance
and healing which comes from the emotional support from the nucleus of families
where we belong. I learned late in life that the most effective pill to heal
one’s insecurities is to reach out and to touch lives, and never to constantly hide inside the dark timid
shell.
